Love is acceptance and attention.

Relationship Anarchy, my summary

I want to summarize my thoughts about relationship anarchy.

You can read this article first for a good overview: Relationship Anarchy basics

0. It’s not exactly about polyamory or sex. As you can notice that famous article is written by a celibate aromantic asexual.

1. I never felt jealousy in my life. And believed that love should be pure as wishing someone to be happy. Like you love your child or a cat.

2. We have a lot of norms and stereotypes in the society of how you should live. And they can work for you. But also for a lot of people they don’t work and only make them unhappy.

3. The main point of Relationship Anarchy is to tell you that anything is okay as long as it is consensual. You can be in any kind of relationship you like as long as it works for you.

4. It’s very difficult for me to build hierarchies of who is my true friend and who is just an acquaintance. Who is a one night stand and who is a romantic partner for life. Every person is different for me and anything can happen.

So. It’s a theory for everyone as confused as I am. And at the same time for those who start to realize what they really want and need.

I feel like that being a little bit confused about life makes you just a little wiser.

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Love Is the Devil: Study for a Portrait of Francis Bacon

I’ve started a cinema club in Florence and tonight was the second screening where we showed Love is the Devil, a movie about Francis Bacon. Before each movie I make a short introduction, and so here it is. Hope it gets you interested in watching this beautiful film.

Last time we watched here The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari. One of the best examples of german expressionism. And today here’s a different, but also an expressionist movie.

Francis Bacon didn’t like labels, when he was called an expressionist. But still his works have a lot in common with expressionism and surrealism. Deformed bodies and faces against empty, deserted backgrounds…

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December in Florence

(Joseph Brodsky, 1976. translated by author)

“He has not returned to his old Florence,
even after having died . . . ”
Anna Akhmatova

I

The doors take in air, exhale steam; you, however, won’t
be back to the shallowed Arno where, like a new kind
of quadruped, idle couples follow the river bend.
Doors bang, beasts hit the slabs. Indeed,
the atmosphere of this city retains a bit
of the dark forest. It
is a beautiful city where at certain age
one simply raises the collar to disengage
from passing humans and dulls the gaze.

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Recent experiment at CERN has proved that we don’t exist.

You can exhale now.

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A disclaimer under everything you do:
“I don’t own anything.”

Connections and Reflections

I’m quite shy around strangers… But once I’m introduced and know the name it’s easy for me to be straightforward and open.

I rely a lot on my intuition about people and usually quite right about what people are like from the inside. For me other people are other versions of myself. As they say: “Know yourself”, so I try to recognize bits and pieces of myself in others.
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Growing up

It’s a common misconception that growing up means accepting more responsibility for your actions. That to spot an adult you need to start looking for someone concerned and serious.

But the older I get the less I believe that most people make any conscious decisions at all. Our habits and past experience just form patterns for us.
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That’s a very simple and obvious thought. Be kind to those who are kind to you.